The Downsides of gratitude

Abstract

Over the last few decades, the positive effects of gratitude at a psychological, moral, social, and spiritual level have been explored and applauded. Its negative side, however, has received little attention. This paper identifies four main negative aspects of gratitude -the unpleasant emotions it might lead to and the fact that feeling grateful might generate or overshadow unfair circumstances. We review the literature on gratitude –from philosophy, anthropology, theology, and psychology– in order to identify the few occasions in which the scholarship points to negative aspects; we group these cases together into four categories, and explore them. The four cases analysed are: (1) the “gratitude paradox”, (2) feelings of debt towards the benefactor, (3) feelings of inferiority, (4) when gratitude replaces apology. Our aim is not to contradict the previous work on these aspects, which is scant but rigorous. We complement it, by arguing that gratitude does not stem from what happens, but rather from the narrative that one builds and the conditional syllogism underpinning this narrative, which prescribes certain emotions. Last, we hold that, while gratitude constitutes a positive emotion, self-help books, counsellors, and social media promoting gratitude practices should remember why it might also signal problematic social dynamics.